I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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