The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
