it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
