so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
