I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he shaved USA in his pubs
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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