That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
did you just send me my own nude
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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