He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
