Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
