Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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