There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Two words: blizzard sex
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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