Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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