youre lurking in front of me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
