my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
