just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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