My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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