I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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