this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
