so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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