we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
