He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
