i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
this hospital has no fireball
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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