i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
