Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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