sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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