so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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