yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
