Don't make out with my wife yet
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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