This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We named our party play list daddy issues
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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