Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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