I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
