he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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