i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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