Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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