I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
birth control should be required to get into college
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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