There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
