man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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