She announced her abortion via fbk
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
