He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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