those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
