It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
