yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
