Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You can't just leave with hair like that
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
