I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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