It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
