I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
