There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
