Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
