Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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