oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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