So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
