I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
